Relationship Issues Archives | Flower Mound Christian Counseling

Do You and Your Spouse-to-Be Need Premarital Counseling?

Do You and Your Spouse-to-Be Need Premarital Counseling?

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-25T08:59:20+00:00May 3rd, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Whenever you’re faced with a decision whether to do something or not, it’s always wise to ask what the benefits and risks are of doing it, and the downsides of going the other way. To be sure, we don’t always know how things will end, and some decisions are ultimately a gamble. However, in some instances, we can look at the evidence available and make an informed decision. When considering marriage, this can be helped by premarital counseling. In a romantic relationship, there is likely no bigger step that the couple can take than deciding to get married. By getting married, you’re binding your lives together socially, legally, and spiritually. It’s a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly, and that’s often something that’s emphasized as couples make their vows to each other. As you head into marriage, being fully equipped to handle the journey ahead makes sense. The ins and outs of premarital counseling Premarital counseling is a form of talk therapy (psychotherapy) that is designed to equip couples on the road toward marriage with the wisdom they require to make an informed decision about their future together. Premarital counseling equips a couple by exploring the issues that typically come up in married life, and that have the biggest potential to undermine a marriage and its success. Each married couple is unique, but some common issues come up again and again as reasons why marital discord occurs. These issues include money, sex, expectations around roles in the household, children, relating to the in-laws, setting goals, their understanding of marriage, and handling conflict. When couples find themselves in counseling, or going through divorce, these are the issues that come up most often. When a couple goes for premarital counseling, it’s an opportunity for them to explore these issues and [...]

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God’s Remedy for Parental Regret and Reconciliation

God’s Remedy for Parental Regret and Reconciliation

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-25T08:59:31+00:00March 15th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

While some parents are truly barbaric and abusive, inflicting untold trauma and pain on their children that will scar them for life and have a generational impact, the majority love their children and do the very best that they can for them, though parental regret may still affect them. Unfortunately, as sinners in a broken world, every parent will make mistakes that they look back on with regret. As children, we are not able to see our family situation clearly, and it is often only when we have reached adulthood, and possibly have a family of our own, that we look back and critique how our parents raised us. Parental regret and reconciliation can go hand in hand and can either be toward our children or simply between oneself and God. A growing culture of estrangement Parental regret and reconciliation is an age-old concept, and yet it seems to be especially topical in our modern society, where there is perhaps a greater focus on self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Feeling regret at mistakes made in parenting is seen almost as a badge of honor and is a sign that we tried our best. They could also have been brought into focus by our grown children, who display an attitude of blame for the things that wronged them and have perhaps followed them into adult life. While in the past, the biblical command to “Honor your parents” was more esteemed in society, today’s generation places more emphasis on excommunicating or getting estranged from parents whose stance on certain matters differed from their children’s views. Healthy conflict resolution for parental regret Regret is a difficult emotion to process. While the world follows the “no regrets” mantra, it simply isn’t possible to shrug off the sense that we did something that we wouldn’t [...]

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9 Reasons Why Male Friendships Are Important

9 Reasons Why Male Friendships Are Important

Joanna Kucherera2024-09-25T08:50:37+00:00November 20th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

From the time they are boys, men are indoctrinated into a world that does them harm more than good in the long run. Over the past couple of years, there have been conversations about toxic masculinity, but we need to start having conversations about some of the stereotypes and expectations put on men that are detrimental to their health and well-being. One of those aspects that needs to be revisited is the role and importance of male friendships. Many young boys found it easy to form and maintain friendships when they were young. It was an integral part of who they were. As they grow older though, these friendships most of the time dwindle. One of the contributing factors has been this harmful notion that men need to be stoic in their manner and learn to stand on their own; masculinity demands autonomy. The concept of having close friendships, especially those you share your life and feelings with is frowned upon, which then makes it difficult for men to seek healthy relationships with other men. With loneliness being a global health pandemic, it is important to advocate for male friendships. Even in the wild, animals rely on each other for their sole survival. We are no different. Human beings are social being and our health and well-being is tied to our community and our relationships, hence having male friendships is vital for other men. To counteract loneliness and isolation, which have negative effects on men’s health, it is important as a society we encourage and make it normal for men to have close, dependable, and strong friendships. Why male friendships are important. Emotional Support. Men also have emotional needs. By having friendships, men can have safe spaces where they can be vulnerable, share their fears, and seek emotional support [...]

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Getting Over an Affair: Can Your Marriage Survive It?

Getting Over an Affair: Can Your Marriage Survive It?

Sandra Stein2024-09-25T08:50:08+00:00August 24th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity can cause gut-wrenching heartache and deep emotional pain that has a lasting impact. If you were the betrayed spouse, you may wonder if getting over an affair is even possible. The answer is yes. No matter how deep your hurt, there is still hope. God heals broken hearts and can restore what has been lost. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. – Maria Robinson If your partner is genuinely repentant for his or her behavior, and you are both willing and committed to do whatever it takes to repair the damage, your relationship can be healed and rebuilt. With faith, patience, dedication, and God’s help, trust can be restored and your connection strengthened. Your marriage can not only survive but emerge stronger than before. Necessary stages in getting over an affair and healing your marriage Atonement. The first step is an apology without excuses. The unfaithful partner needs to sincerely regret what he or she has done and want to make things right. Grief. Give yourselves time to grieve. Healing involves mourning and new growth. You need to grieve the loss of the vision you had for your shared future and leave the affair behind. These are necessary before you can start building a new vision and become new partners for each other. Insight. Repairing a marriage requires an honest, non-blameful examination and mutual exchange of the state of your relationship before the affair. The unfaithful partner needs to be upfront about why it happened. Not to try and justify it, but rather to provide insight. Look at what may not have been working in the marriage that ultimately led to an open door for someone else to walk into. Also, share the wants and [...]

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3 Fun Activities to Do with Your Teen

3 Fun Activities to Do with Your Teen

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:30:52+00:00August 17th, 2023|Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

When was the last time you did something fun with your teen? Most parents must go back to before their teen years to answer this. Although your teen is growing up, and he or she has changed, you can still have fun with him or her. The key to having fun with your teen is not to force it. Teens don’t enjoy being forced to do things. Part of what teens long for is the ability to make decisions for themselves. When you force them to do something, they will likely decline or make the time miserable for both of you. Instead, try these fun activities to do with your teen and give them some control of the situation. Giving teens the ability to choose goes a long way to creating trust and connection. 3 Fun Activities to Do with Your Teen 1. Go to a game or concert with your teen. Think about what your teen likes. Does she love soccer? Does he always listen to a certain kind of music? See what you can do that falls within his or her interest. It may not be what you would choose, but this is about doing something your teen loves so you can be with him or her. Try going to a local sporting event or check out a live band at a restaurant. See what your teen might like and give it a try. Remember, the key is for you to try something he or she likes without judgment. 2. Play their game or try their app. Don’t do this on their devices but see what you can learn about the games or apps teens enjoy. Is there a video game your son is always playing, an online puzzle your teen is always solving, or a social [...]

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Counseling For Toxic Couples: What You Need To Know

Counseling For Toxic Couples: What You Need To Know

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:31:23+00:00April 25th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. One reason for that is that we live in an imperfect world, but alongside that is the reality that we are imperfect people. Even if the world were perfect, imperfect people would make short work of it. We bring our imperfections into our relationships, and sometimes we overcome our worst impulses. Other times, the person that we’re with is imperfect in different ways and when paired together it all works. In other situations, two imperfect people come together, and they don’t bring out the best in each other. Instead, some of their worst impulses are either encouraged or given free rein, running amok in the relationship. This causes immense damage to both of the people in the relationship and others that may be within the couple’s sphere of influence. When relationships flourish, they can be beautiful, and that’s what God wants for people. Healthy relationships bring wholeness, support growth, maintain accountability, and promote flourishing. The other side of flourishing relationships is toxic relationships, and these can be between friends, lovers, parents and their children, and siblings. If you are in a toxic romantic relationship, there is help available in both individual and couples counseling. Counseling can transform your relationship by helping you understand what has gone wrong in the relationship and why. Not only that, but one can learn new ways to be themselves in a relationship. Signs of a toxic relationship To begin with, what does a toxic relationship look like? The word ‘toxic’ is quite prevalent in our world today. Essentially, it refers to deeply problematic and unhealthy traits within a relationship, things that hinder or undermine the flourishing of the couple. To frame it within a Christian worldview, it relates to ingrained sinful patterns and habits that [...]

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Plumbing the Deep: Navigating the Shame of Family Secrets

Plumbing the Deep: Navigating the Shame of Family Secrets

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:31:31+00:00April 24th, 2023|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It doesn’t take much reading before we realize that the Bible contains family secrets between its covers. Scandals line the pages of Scripture, sandwiched in between the prevailing force of God’s lavish love. While we read the intrigue and espionage laced throughout, we might wonder why God chose to continue with humanity as we know it. Not a lot has changed throughout the ages, but the Father has remained consistent in His endeavor to woo and win wandering sons and daughters. Within our own families, we may have whispered, covered, and kept quiet, restraining secrets that strain the corners of our family tapestries as well. In families that experience deep dysfunction, we exert an extraordinary amount of energy trying to cover pain that we ignore, medicate, or even over-spiritualize. We may be tempted to remain hushed about family secrets and sins, but silence does nothing but perpetuate shame. It not only internalizes elements that have given rise to negative behavioral patterns, but it keeps us imprisoned in a narrative that pollutes our view of ourselves, others, and God. Secrets may be part of our family’s past, and to some degree our present experience, but we don’t have to be loyal to its legacy for future generations. The way out. We can break our partnership with the lies and family secrets of the past and choose the truth that sets us free. God wants to bring the reality of Scripture off the page and into our lives. Jesus, as the Word of God, literally put on flesh, lived a human experience to model what it looked like for us to live free from the skeletons in our family closet. In His torturous death, He became God’s Answer, lighting our bloodline’s path out of darkness into Truth and Life. Resurrected, His [...]

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Christian Marriage Counseling: Tips to Protect Your Marriage

Christian Marriage Counseling: Tips to Protect Your Marriage

Sandra Stein2024-09-25T08:48:38+00:00February 20th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Most marriages begin with joyful anticipation of a shared life together. Sadly, though, not all couples live happily ever after. Some honor their commitment and stay together even after the spark is gone and wonder if there isn’t more to life than this. Others choose to get a divorce. They would have benefited from Christian marriage counseling. This was never God’s intention. He designed marriage to be an intimate relationship between a man and a woman that would multiply their joys, divide their sorrows, and provide a safe, supportive place where they would never feel alone. Where there is no guidance, a people fails, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14, ESV New marriages, like new cars, however, require regular maintenance. There will be bumps and turns along the way, which can quickly send your relationship careening on a downward spiral if not handled promptly and correctly. Seeking the help of a trained Christian marriage counselor is a wise move that can help get you and your spouse back on track again. Common warning signs of trouble ahead Inability to resolve conflict in a healthy way. Having the same fight over and over again. Constant bickering. Unmet expectations. Inability to compromise. One spouse dominating the relationship, leaving the other spouse’s needs unmet. Loss of closeness. Unfulfilling sex life. Conflicts about money. Conflict with in-laws. Disagreeing about parenting issues. How Christian marriage counseling can help restore a troubled marriage Christian marriage counseling is a faith-based approach that combines Biblical principles with conventional secular therapy. Its goal is to help couples gain a better understanding of the dynamics of their relationship and each other’s perspectives, develop healthy communication skills, and learn how to reconnect and work through their problems together, rather than one spouse casting blame and [...]

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Are You Ready to Date Again?

Are You Ready to Date Again?

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T09:00:55+00:00December 7th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It is not always easy to determine when you are ready to date again, particularly after a breakup or after spending a lot of time by yourself. If you are thinking about dating, consider thinking about some important things first. Some signs that you are ready are when you have personal passions and hobbies, when you have identified your goals and values, and when you have reflected on previous relationships. If you spend a lot of time talking about or thinking about your ex, or if you use dates as an escape from feeling lonely, you may have more work to do. According to Victoria Goldenberg, a therapist and member of the media advisory group at the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, reflecting on your personal growth and previous relationships can help you gauge your ability to foster new and healthy connections with other singles. Goldenberg shared this insight with Insider. Signs that You are Ready to Date Again Keep an eye out for these signs to determine whether or not you are physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to date again. You may be ready to date if you are an individual with your own circle of friends and pursuits. According to Goldenberg, ensuring that you have a distinct sense of who you are will position you for a successful dating experience. This is regardless of how long you’ve been single or how recently you ended a previous romantic commitment. It is a good indicator that you are prepared to meet someone new if you can name several interests and activities that you pursue to provide yourself pleasure and satisfaction. It’s not healthy for a person to go into a relationship to find happiness. You are the architect of your own joy in life, and the person you [...]

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How to Become an Active Listener

How to Become an Active Listener

Joanna Kucherera2024-09-25T08:51:32+00:00November 18th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

As adults, we spend most of each day communicating, and 55% of this communication consists of listening and observing. We listen to gain information, we listen to understand, and we listen for enjoyment. Some people tend to be on the quieter side, talking less and being more observant of details like body language and people’s moods, making one a good active listener. Others, who are more talkative and less aware of details, make only decent listeners, but not good active listeners. However, with practice, both types can become better active listeners. Hearing or listening? The difference between listening and hearing is focus and intentionality. A person may relay information to us and, without trying at all, we will register the facts of the information and little else. This is hearing. We may only be hearing when it comes to instances like a child talking about their day at school, a teacher conducting a dull lesson, or a colleague sharing information you have already heard. We might call this “skim listening” or “scan listening,” meaning that we are simply listening for information and no other details. Active listening is when we pay careful attention to all that is being communicated to us, both verbally and non-verbally. Not only do we take in and understand what is being said, but we discern what remains unsaid, and we respond to, reflect and react appropriately to the communication. This makes the speaker feel valued, seen, heard, and understood. It takes practice and patience to become a good active listener. It begins with being intentional about absorbing as much information from the communication as possible. Working at developing and improving active listening can greatly impact our parenting, our relationships, and even our career. What does being an active listener look like? When we communicate, we [...]

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