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Plumbing the Deep: Navigating the Shame of Family Secrets

Plumbing the Deep: Navigating the Shame of Family Secrets

Kate Motaung2025-04-11T06:40:17+00:00April 24th, 2023|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It doesn’t take much reading before we realize that the Bible contains family secrets between its covers. Scandals line the pages of Scripture, sandwiched in between the prevailing force of God’s lavish love. While we read the intrigue and espionage laced throughout, we might wonder why God chose to continue with humanity as we know it. Not a lot has changed throughout the ages, but the Father has remained consistent in His endeavor to woo and win wandering sons and daughters. Within our own families, we may have whispered, covered, and kept quiet, restraining secrets that strain the corners of our family tapestries as well. In families that experience deep dysfunction, we exert an extraordinary amount of energy trying to cover pain that we ignore, medicate, or even over-spiritualize. We may be tempted to remain hushed about family secrets and sins, but silence does nothing but perpetuate shame. Flower Mound Christian Counseling offers a safe space to begin breaking that silence and addressing the hidden wounds. It not only internalizes elements that have given rise to negative behavioral patterns, but it keeps us imprisoned in a narrative that pollutes our view of ourselves, others, and God. Secrets may be part of our family’s past, and to some degree our present experience, but we don’t have to be loyal to its legacy for future generations. The way out. We can break our partnership with the lies and family secrets of the past and choose the truth that sets us free. God wants to bring the reality of Scripture off the page and into our lives. Jesus, as the Word of God, literally put on flesh, lived a human experience to model what it looked like for us to live free from the skeletons in our family closet. In His torturous [...]

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Christian Marriage Counseling: Tips to Protect Your Marriage

Christian Marriage Counseling: Tips to Protect Your Marriage

Sandra Stein2025-04-10T08:26:17+00:00February 20th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Most marriages begin with joyful anticipation of a shared life together. Sadly, though, not all couples live happily ever after. Some honor their commitment and stay together even after the spark is gone and wonder if there isn’t more to life than this. Others choose to get a divorce. They would have benefited from Christian marriage counseling. This was never God’s intention. He designed marriage to be an intimate relationship between a man and a woman that would multiply their joys, divide their sorrows, and provide a safe, supportive place where they would never feel alone. Where there is no guidance, a people fails, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14, ESV New marriages, like new cars, however, require regular maintenance. There will be bumps and turns along the way, which can quickly send your relationship careening on a downward spiral if not handled promptly and correctly. Seeking the help of a trained Christian marriage counselor, such as those at Flower Mound Christian Counseling, is a wise move that can help get you and your spouse back on track again. Common warning signs of trouble ahead Inability to resolve conflict in a healthy way. Having the same fight over and over again. Constant bickering. Unmet expectations. Inability to compromise. One spouse dominating the relationship, leaving the other spouse’s needs unmet. Loss of closeness. Unfulfilling sex life. Conflicts about money. Conflict with in-laws. Disagreeing about parenting issues. How Christian marriage counseling can help restore a troubled marriage Christian marriage counseling is a faith-based approach that combines Biblical principles with conventional secular therapy. Its goal is to help couples gain a better understanding of the dynamics of their relationship and each other’s perspectives, develop healthy communication skills, and learn how to reconnect and work through their [...]

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Are You Ready to Date Again?

Are You Ready to Date Again?

Kate Motaung2025-04-09T07:17:21+00:00December 7th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It is not always easy to determine when you are ready to date again, particularly after a breakup or after spending a lot of time by yourself. If you are thinking about dating, consider thinking about some important things first. Some signs that you are ready are when you have personal passions and hobbies, when you have identified your goals and values, and when you have reflected on previous relationships. If you spend a lot of time talking about or thinking about your ex, or if you use dates as an escape from feeling lonely, you may have more work to do. Seeking guidance from a counselor at Flower Mound Christian Counseling can help you process these feelings and work through any unresolved issues. According to Victoria Goldenberg, a therapist and member of the media advisory group at the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, reflecting on your personal growth and previous relationships can help you gauge your ability to foster new and healthy connections with other singles. Goldenberg shared this insight with Insider. Signs that You are Ready to Date Again Keep an eye out for these signs to determine whether or not you are physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to date again. You may be ready to date if you are an individual with your own circle of friends and pursuits. According to Goldenberg, ensuring that you have a distinct sense of who you are will position you for a successful dating experience. This is regardless of how long you’ve been single or how recently you ended a previous romantic commitment. It is a good indicator that you are prepared to meet someone new if you can name several interests and activities that you pursue to provide yourself pleasure and satisfaction. It’s not healthy for a person [...]

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How to Become an Active Listener

How to Become an Active Listener

Joanna Kucherera2025-04-09T07:12:37+00:00November 18th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

As adults, we spend most of each day communicating, and 55% of this communication consists of listening and observing. We listen to gain information, we listen to understand, and we listen for enjoyment. Some people tend to be on the quieter side, talking less and being more observant of details like body language and people’s moods, making one a good active listener. Others, who are more talkative and less aware of details, make only decent listeners, but not good active listeners. However, with practice, both types can become better active listeners. Hearing or listening? The difference between listening and hearing is focus and intentionality. A person may relay information to us and, without trying at all, we will register the facts of the information and little else. This is hearing. We may only be hearing when it comes to instances like a child talking about their day at school, a teacher conducting a dull lesson, or a colleague sharing information you have already heard. We might call this “skim listening” or “scan listening,” meaning that we are simply listening for information and no other details. Active listening is when we pay careful attention to all that is being communicated to us, both verbally and non-verbally. Not only do we take in and understand what is being said, but we discern what remains unsaid, and we respond to, reflect and react appropriately to the communication. This makes the speaker feel valued, seen, heard, and understood. It takes practice and patience to become a good active listener. It begins with being intentional about absorbing as much information from the communication as possible. Working at developing and improving active listening can greatly impact our parenting, our relationships, and even our career. If you're looking to improve your active listening skills, a counselor [...]

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Scriptures On Forgiveness: What Does the Bible Say?

Scriptures On Forgiveness: What Does the Bible Say?

Sandra Stein2025-04-12T06:39:28+00:00September 14th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Looking for Scriptures on forgiveness? Here are several Bible verses about how to forgive and what to do when you're battling with unforgiveness. When you have been hurt and the pain is deep, forgiveness may seem impossible, but living with bitterness and resentment in your heart can poison your soul and destroy you. It will hurt you far more than the other person, who may not even realize he or she has upset you. Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die. – Anne Lamott If unforgiveness is something you struggle with, this article is for you. It contains key Scriptures on forgiveness that can serve as a guide. The Bible exhorts us to forgive others just as we have been forgiven through the blood Jesus shed for us on the cross. No matter what our transgressions may have been, God is always willing to forgive us when we repent and turn to Him. He commands us to extend this same grace to those who have offended us as well. Forgiveness is a choice. It is something you will yourself to do in obedience to God. This does not mean you are condoning what the person did, but you are letting go of the grip his or her offense has on you and releasing him or her to God. Forgiveness has the power to transform anger and hurt into healing and peace and to set you free to move forward with your own life. Flower Mound Christian Counseling supports this journey toward healing and peace. What do the Scriptures on forgiveness say? We are all in need of forgiveness. All of us have been born into sin, eternally separated from God, but God is merciful and willing to forgive us when we [...]

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6 Tips for Dealing with a Complicated Relationship

6 Tips for Dealing with a Complicated Relationship

Kate Motaung2025-04-03T17:44:55+00:00June 17th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you have a complicated relationship, life can feel stressful and draining. Maybe you have been caught off guard by problems in your relationship even though they feel familiar to you. Dysfunction is like this – it can keep us off balance and make us feel so frustrated we want to scream. But there are several ways that you can deal with a complicated relationship and not let it run your life any longer. Tips for Dealing with a Complicated Relationship The dysfunction in a complicated relationship could be deeply rooted, widespread, and related to many different factors. It’s often best to discuss your complicated relationship with a Christian counselor at Flower Mound Christian Counseling, who can give you an outside, judgment-free perspective. You can also take steps like the ones described below to reduce your stress, deal with a complicated relationship, and prepare yourself for meetings with the difficult individual. 1. Perform a Self-Check Dysfunction in complicated relationships is rarely relegated to one person. If you bear even 1% of the burden of dysfunction in your relationship with the difficult person, you can make changes that will bring health into the relationship. This is why you need to perform a self-check to learn what you can control. Consider the following example. A father drinks during a holiday gathering, and eventually becomes irritable and begins to criticize his adult daughter. The daughter had quietly tolerated it in the past but developed resentment in her heart toward her father. To make a change at the next holiday gathering, she could excuse herself after dinner, so she would not be exposed to her father’s irritation that leads to criticism. That’s the 1% that she can control. Here is another example. You may refrain from voicing your opinions in an attempt to [...]

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