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6 Tips for Preventing Burnout

By |2023-07-20T18:20:11+00:00July 20th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

Have you ever felt like you had nothing else to give? As if you can’t keep going in your job, your daily responsibilities, or a family responsibility? If so, you may be experiencing burnout. The concept of burnout represents feeling overwhelmed, spent, or exhausted by a situation you are in. It is a type of stress that is carried for some time without relief. This can happen to people at any age in any situation. It is less about what you are facing than it is about how it feels for you. When do people feel burnout? Burnout is a real issue for people in so many scenarios. There are no rules to burnout, whom it affects, why it impacts them, or for how long. Some examples of times people feel burnout are: In a job where they work hard and feel underappreciated. Functioning as a caregiver for someone with medical needs. As a stay-at-home parent responsible for the needs of the family and household. During school when you feel the pressure of assignments and achievement. These are just a few examples. The possibilities vary as much as the people who experience burnout. Preventing burnout If we are all at risk for burnout in a variety of scenarios, how do we prevent it? Can we do anything to ensure that we don’t struggle with emotional, physical, or mental exhaustion brought on by prolonged stress? While there are no guarantees, there are some tools that you can build into your life now to prevent burnout in the future. Get adequate sleep. Sleep is an important part of your overall well-being. Getting the right amount of quality sleep for your body and brain will help you function well daily and equip you to better handle stress in your life. This can [...]

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8 Common Signs of Abandonment Issues

By |2023-06-13T12:05:14+00:00June 12th, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Abandonment issues stem from a deep-rooted fear of being rejected, hurt, or abandoned. Caused by many factors which can include childhood trauma such as abuse, neglect, death of a parent, incarceration of a parent, illness or divorce, abandonment issues can have significant effects on people in their adult relationships.8 Common Signs of Abandonment IssuesBecause abandonment issues are caused by many different factors, they will manifest differently in different individuals. There are, however, some common signs of abandonment issues one can look out for:Intense fear of rejection. Having abandonment issues means one is afraid of being rejected or left alone. This is because they have experienced it before due to childhood traumas and they try not to feel that way again. This fear however can hinder how they relate to others and in turn manifest that which they fear.Very low self-esteem. Those with abandonment issues will have very low regard for themselves. They constantly feel worthless and not worthy of love and acceptance. This is why they are constantly seeking approval or reassurance. They never feel what they are or who they are is enough.Avoidance behavior. For fear of being rejected, those with abandonment issues will forego situations where they feel they might be rejected. This can be seen in how they avoid social gatherings, family meetings, or company activities. They feel safer by avoiding it.Needy and clingy. Once they are in a relationship or friendship with someone, people with abandonment issues can become very needy and clingy, emotionally suffocating those close to them. They fear being alone so much that they will make sure they are constantly in the presence of their partner or friend. This can again have the negative effect of driving people away.Codependency. Codependency is the excessive dependence on another person for assurance, well-being, and identity. To [...]

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When to Stop Drinking Alcohol: Deciding If a Few Drinks a Night is a Problem

By |2023-04-29T14:37:15+00:00April 29th, 2023|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

There are plenty of reasons why people drink. It’s a social activity. They like the taste. It’s an easy way to unwind. It’s always been part of their routines. They deserve it after a long day. While most of us know when to stop and can regulate how much we drink, it is good sometimes to check in and ask if you are drinking for the right reasons. The Bible has plenty of instances of people getting drunk and doing dumb things. Noah passed out after getting out of the ark, disgracing himself in front of his sons (Genesis 9:20-23). Lot’s daughters got him so drunk he passed out and they had sex with him (Genesis 19:30-38). David attempted to get Uriah drunk in hopes he’d sleep with Bathsheba, but the man refused (2 Samuel 11:13). There are instances when alcohol is used in celebration. Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into the best wine at a wedding feast (John 2:1-11). The Israelites were encouraged to spend money on alcohol to bring as a tithe and to celebrate their offerings to the Lord (Deuteronomy 14:22-29). God’s prophets promise that when Israel returns home, God will bless them with wine aplenty (Amos 9:14, Joel 2:19, and 3:18). Jesus compares His body to wine, telling His disciples to use it as a symbol and reminder of the sacrifice He was preparing to make (see Matthew 26:17-30). In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul encourages people in the church to abstain from drinking if it would cause another person to stumble. He explains that it is out of love for others that we sometimes deny ourselves what we can handle if we know that those around us cannot. Alcohol in itself is not wrong. It is the abuse of it, or letting it master [...]

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Counseling For Toxic Couples: What You Need To Know

By |2023-07-07T08:26:22+00:00April 25th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. One reason for that is that we live in an imperfect world, but alongside that is the reality that we are imperfect people. Even if the world were perfect, imperfect people would make short work of it. We bring our imperfections into our relationships, and sometimes we overcome our worst impulses. Other times, the person that we’re with is imperfect in different ways and when paired together it all works. In other situations, two imperfect people come together, and they don’t bring out the best in each other. Instead, some of their worst impulses are either encouraged or given free rein, running amok in the relationship. This causes immense damage to both of the people in the relationship and others that may be within the couple’s sphere of influence. When relationships flourish, they can be beautiful, and that’s what God wants for people. Healthy relationships bring wholeness, support growth, maintain accountability, and promote flourishing. The other side of flourishing relationships is toxic relationships, and these can be between friends, lovers, parents and their children, and siblings. If you are in a toxic romantic relationship, there is help available in both individual and couples counseling. Counseling can transform your relationship by helping you understand what has gone wrong in the relationship and why. Not only that, but one can learn new ways to be themselves in a relationship. Signs of a toxic relationship To begin with, what does a toxic relationship look like? The word ‘toxic’ is quite prevalent in our world today. Essentially, it refers to deeply problematic and unhealthy traits within a relationship, things that hinder or undermine the flourishing of the couple. To frame it within a Christian worldview, it relates to ingrained sinful patterns and habits that [...]

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Plumbing the Deep: Navigating the Shame of Family Secrets

By |2024-04-04T11:46:17+00:00April 24th, 2023|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It doesn’t take much reading before we realize that the Bible contains family secrets between its covers. Scandals line the pages of Scripture, sandwiched in between the prevailing force of God’s lavish love. While we read the intrigue and espionage laced throughout, we might wonder why God chose to continue with humanity as we know it. Not a lot has changed throughout the ages, but the Father has remained consistent in His endeavor to woo and win wandering sons and daughters. Within our own families, we may have whispered, covered, and kept quiet, restraining secrets that strain the corners of our family tapestries as well. In families that experience deep dysfunction, we exert an extraordinary amount of energy trying to cover pain that we ignore, medicate, or even over-spiritualize. We may be tempted to remain hushed about family secrets and sins, but silence does nothing but perpetuate shame. It not only internalizes elements that have given rise to negative behavioral patterns, but it keeps us imprisoned in a narrative that pollutes our view of ourselves, others, and God. Secrets may be part of our family’s past, and to some degree our present experience, but we don’t have to be loyal to its legacy for future generations. The way out. We can break our partnership with the lies and family secrets of the past and choose the truth that sets us free. God wants to bring the reality of Scripture off the page and into our lives. Jesus, as the Word of God, literally put on flesh, lived a human experience to model what it looked like for us to live free from the skeletons in our family closet. In His torturous death, He became God’s Answer, lighting our bloodline’s path out of darkness into Truth and Life. Resurrected, His [...]

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Christian Marriage Counseling: Tips to Protect Your Marriage

By |2023-02-20T07:32:41+00:00February 20th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Most marriages begin with joyful anticipation of a shared life together. Sadly, though, not all couples live happily ever after. Some honor their commitment and stay together even after the spark is gone and wonder if there isn’t more to life than this. Others choose to get a divorce. They would have benefited from Christian marriage counseling. This was never God’s intention. He designed marriage to be an intimate relationship between a man and a woman that would multiply their joys, divide their sorrows, and provide a safe, supportive place where they would never feel alone. Where there is no guidance, a people fails, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14, ESV New marriages, like new cars, however, require regular maintenance. There will be bumps and turns along the way, which can quickly send your relationship careening on a downward spiral if not handled promptly and correctly. Seeking the help of a trained Christian marriage counselor is a wise move that can help get you and your spouse back on track again. Common warning signs of trouble ahead Inability to resolve conflict in a healthy way. Having the same fight over and over again. Constant bickering. Unmet expectations. Inability to compromise. One spouse dominating the relationship, leaving the other spouse’s needs unmet. Loss of closeness. Unfulfilling sex life. Conflicts about money. Conflict with in-laws. Disagreeing about parenting issues. How Christian marriage counseling can help restore a troubled marriage Christian marriage counseling is a faith-based approach that combines Biblical principles with conventional secular therapy. Its goal is to help couples gain a better understanding of the dynamics of their relationship and each other’s perspectives, develop healthy communication skills, and learn how to reconnect and work through their problems together, rather than one spouse casting blame and [...]

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Do I Have ADHD? Signs and Symptoms to Watch For

By |2023-07-07T08:26:58+00:00January 14th, 2023|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If you are easily distracted and often find yourself wondering, “Do I have ADHD?” this article may be for you. ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is a neurodevelopmental disorder usually first diagnosed in childhood. It is characterized by inattention, impulsivity, and in some cases, hyperactivity. People with ADHD tend to be in a state of constant overwhelm that affects their ability to function and that makes performing even everyday tasks a challenge. The executive functioning portion of their frontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that enables planning, organization, and completion of tasks, does not work properly. As a result, they are unable to compartmentalize, and they tend to feel frustrated and overwhelmed by the sensation that everything is happening at the same time in their minds. If you sometimes get distracted or have trouble concentrating but are able to refocus and get back on track, and this does not impede your ability to get things done, chances are you do not have ADHD. Do I Have ADHD? Common Signs to Watch For If you're wondering, "Do I have ADHD?" here are common signs of ADHD to watch for. If you are experiencing one or more of these signs, it’s wise to check with a doctor or counselor for a full diagnosis. Inattentiveness You have trouble paying attention to details and may make careless mistakes. You have difficulty staying focused during conversations or paying attention to what you are doing. You are constantly daydreaming and getting lost in your thoughts. Your mind always seems to be somewhere else, and it may seem as though you are not listening when someone speaks to you. Your mind tends to move so fast that you don’t notice the fine print. You often misplace things. You are easily sidetracked, have trouble [...]

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Bullying Prevention is Possible With Help

By |2023-01-20T15:48:57+00:00January 6th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Bullying is a serious and significant problem that affects our children and so bullying prevention is a topic parents should understand. It is a form of violence that can have a lasting negative effect on the health of the person bullied, and the bully. In essence, bullying is when the more powerful party repeatedly acts in a way that hurts and distresses the person targeted. Harm can be inflicted on the victim in a wide variety of ways, some examples include: physically, through hitting, shoving, and tripping; psychologically, through teasing and name-calling, as well as social harm through spreading rumors or excluding someone from the group. Damage to the victim's property is also understood to be bullying. Unfortunately, bullying is not limited to physical interactions but can be done through any means of communication including social media. This is known as cyberbullying or electronic bullying. Bullying is a widespread problem. The repeated nature of victimization and the significant adverse effects of bullying on all parties involved makes the fact that bullying is fairly common all the more tragic. It is not simply the victim and perpetrator who are negatively impacted but the bystanders too. The Centre for Disease Control and Prevention found that 25% of high school students admitted to being bullied while at school while more than 15% of high school students said they were bullied electronically. Another way to understand this is to say that of your child and their four friends, one has been bullied while at school. As bullying is dependent on a power imbalance, logically, some youths are bullied more than others. It happens across genders and cultures, throughout childhood and adolescence. Consequences. The effects of bullying range from physical injury to social and emotional distress, it can create an environment for self-harm and [...]

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Are You Ready to Date Again?

By |2023-09-20T09:44:54+00:00December 7th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

  It is not always easy to determine when you are ready to date again, particularly after a breakup or after spending a lot of time by yourself. If you are thinking about dating, consider thinking about some important things first. Some signs that you are ready are when you have personal passions and hobbies, when you have identified your goals and values, and when you have reflected on previous relationships. If you spend a lot of time talking about or thinking about your ex, or if you use dates as an escape from feeling lonely, you may have more work to do. According to Victoria Goldenberg, a therapist and member of the media advisory group at the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, reflecting on your personal growth and previous relationships can help you gauge your ability to foster new and healthy connections with other singles. Goldenberg shared this insight with Insider. Signs that You are Ready to Date Again Keep an eye out for these signs to determine whether or not you are physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to date again. You may be ready to date if you are an individual with your own circle of friends and pursuits. According to Goldenberg, ensuring that you have a distinct sense of who you are will position you for a successful dating experience. This is regardless of how long you’ve been single or how recently you ended a previous romantic commitment. It is a good indicator that you are prepared to meet someone new if you can name several interests and activities that you pursue to provide yourself pleasure and satisfaction. It’s not healthy for a person to go into a relationship to find happiness. You are the architect of your own joy in life, and the person you [...]

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How to Become an Active Listener

By |2022-11-18T11:21:47+00:00November 18th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

As adults, we spend most of each day communicating, and 55% of this communication consists of listening and observing. We listen to gain information, we listen to understand, and we listen for enjoyment. Some people tend to be on the quieter side, talking less and being more observant of details like body language and people’s moods, making one a good active listener. Others, who are more talkative and less aware of details, make only decent listeners, but not good active listeners. However, with practice, both types can become better active listeners. Hearing or listening? The difference between listening and hearing is focus and intentionality. A person may relay information to us and, without trying at all, we will register the facts of the information and little else. This is hearing. We may only be hearing when it comes to instances like a child talking about their day at school, a teacher conducting a dull lesson, or a colleague sharing information you have already heard. We might call this “skim listening” or “scan listening,” meaning that we are simply listening for information and no other details. Active listening is when we pay careful attention to all that is being communicated to us, both verbally and non-verbally. Not only do we take in and understand what is being said, but we discern what remains unsaid, and we respond to, reflect and react appropriately to the communication. This makes the speaker feel valued, seen, heard, and understood. It takes practice and patience to become a good active listener. It begins with being intentional about absorbing as much information from the communication as possible. Working at developing and improving active listening can greatly impact our parenting, our relationships, and even our career. What does being an active listener look like? When we communicate, we [...]

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