Family Counseling

  While some parents are truly barbaric and abusive, inflicting untold trauma and pain on their children that will scar them for life and have a generational impact, the majority love their children and do the very best that they can for them, though parental regret may still affect them. Unfortunately, as sinners in a broken world, every parent will make mistakes that they look back on with regret. As children, we are not able to see our family situation clearly, and it is often only when we have reached adulthood, and possibly have a family of our own, that we look back and critique how our parents raised us. Parental regret and reconciliation can go hand in hand and can either be toward our children or simply between oneself and God. A growing culture of estrangement Parental regret and reconciliation is an age-old concept, and yet it seems to be especially topical in our modern society, where there is perhaps a greater focus on self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Feeling regret at mistakes made in parenting is seen almost as a badge of honor and is a sign that we tried our best. They could also have been brought into focus by our grown children, who display an attitude of blame for the things that wronged them and have perhaps followed them into adult life. While in the past, the biblical command to “Honor your parents” was more esteemed in society, today’s generation places more emphasis on excommunicating or getting estranged from parents whose stance on certain matters differed from their children’s views. Healthy conflict resolution for parental regret Regret is a difficult emotion to process. While the world follows the “no regrets” mantra, it simply isn’t possible to shrug off the sense that we did something that we wouldn’t [...]

It doesn’t take much reading before we realize that the Bible contains family secrets between its covers. Scandals line the pages of Scripture, sandwiched in between the prevailing force of God’s lavish love. While we read the intrigue and espionage laced throughout, we might wonder why God chose to continue with humanity as we know it. Not a lot has changed throughout the ages, but the Father has remained consistent in His endeavor to woo and win wandering sons and daughters. Within our own families, we may have whispered, covered, and kept quiet, restraining secrets that strain the corners of our family tapestries as well. In families that experience deep dysfunction, we exert an extraordinary amount of energy trying to cover pain that we ignore, medicate, or even over-spiritualize. We may be tempted to remain hushed about family secrets and sins, but silence does nothing but perpetuate shame. It not only internalizes elements that have given rise to negative behavioral patterns, but it keeps us imprisoned in a narrative that pollutes our view of ourselves, others, and God. Secrets may be part of our family’s past, and to some degree our present experience, but we don’t have to be loyal to its legacy for future generations. The way out. We can break our partnership with the lies and family secrets of the past and choose the truth that sets us free. God wants to bring the reality of Scripture off the page and into our lives. Jesus, as the Word of God, literally put on flesh, lived a human experience to model what it looked like for us to live free from the skeletons in our family closet. In His torturous death, He became God’s Answer, lighting our bloodline’s path out of darkness into Truth and Life. Resurrected, His [...]