Do You and Your Spouse-to-Be Need Premarital Counseling?

Whenever you’re faced with a decision whether to do something or not, it’s always wise to ask what the benefits and risks are of doing it, and the downsides of going the other way. To be sure, we don’t always know how things will end, and some decisions are ultimately a gamble. However, in some instances, we can look at the evidence available and make an informed decision. When considering marriage, this can be helped by premarital counseling.

In a romantic relationship, there is likely no bigger step that the couple can take than deciding to get married. By getting married, you’re binding your lives together socially, legally, and spiritually. It’s a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly, and that’s often something that’s emphasized as couples make their vows to each other. As you head into marriage, being fully equipped to handle the journey ahead makes sense.

The ins and outs of premarital counseling

Premarital counseling is a form of talk therapy (psychotherapy) that is designed to equip couples on the road toward marriage with the wisdom they require to make an informed decision about their future together. Premarital counseling equips a couple by exploring the issues that typically come up in married life, and that have the biggest potential to undermine a marriage and its success.

Each married couple is unique, but some common issues come up again and again as reasons why marital discord occurs. These issues include money, sex, expectations around roles in the household, children, relating to the in-laws, setting goals, their understanding of marriage, and handling conflict. When couples find themselves in counseling, or going through divorce, these are the issues that come up most often.

When a couple goes for premarital counseling, it’s an opportunity for them to explore these issues and understand where they stand on them. Not every couple takes time to talk through these subjects, and it might only come up when a problem arises. For instance, a couple should explore what they understand infidelity to be, because they may have quite different definitions of what behaviors constitute marital unfaithfulness.

In essence, what premarital counseling aims to do is to help the couple explore the things that they may be taking for granted, assuming that it’s obvious and doesn’t need to be explored. Explicitly dealing with the pressure points that affect a marriage helps the couple to prepare realistically for what married life could be like. When they know what their life together could be like, they can make a more informed decision about that future.

How can you benefit?

Premarital counseling helps to take some of the guesswork out of what it’ll look like and mean to be married to your intended. Your counselor will help you by raising important questions for you to consider about your planned life together. These will surface your expectations, and they will also indicate areas where you could use skills that will help your marriage flourish.

For instance, your counselor might ask you about how you currently handle conflict as a couple. Some couples try to avoid conflict and pretend that issues don’t exist, while others engage in conflict but in ways that leave one or both of them broken and hurt. Instead of avoiding conflict, or engaging in it to one another’s detriment, your premarital counselor can help you by developing your communication and conflict resolution skills.

Each couple will have its areas of strengths and some areas where improvement is needed. Premarital counseling can help the couple become more self-aware and better able to leverage the resources at their disposal so that their marriage can flourish. In other words, premarital counseling is about helping a couple be as prepared as possible for their life together, should they decide to take that step.

You and your future spouse can benefit from premarital counseling in several ways, including the following:

Deeper understanding

It allows a couple to grow together as they develop a deeper understanding of each other. Sometimes a counselor is able to elicit information through their questions, and these are things that the couple may have been reluctant to share with each other.

Planning for a life together

Part of premarital counseling is helping a couple articulate their goals and then providing them with tools to plan effectively to meet those goals. Whether the couple is planning financially for their future, or they are thinking about their family, premarital counseling can help them discuss these goals and begin planning effectively to meet them.

Addressing issues

Some issues can lead to divorce, and premarital counseling helps the couple strengthen their relationship so they can face these challenges well. Discussing these issues helps the couple develop awareness and the skillset to address these issues.

Better communication

Part of the counseling process is learning how to express deep and possibly difficult emotions in a healthy and constructive way. Premarital counseling at Flower Mound Christian Counseling in Texas can help a couple in their communication skills, which include listening with empathy and sharing their thoughts without shaming, blaming, or being aggressive toward the other person.

If you want to provide your relationship with the best possible foundation, premarital counseling is an amazing opportunity to absorb wisdom and learn about the nitty gritty of married life. To get the best start to your life together, consider getting premarital counseling in Flower Mound, Texas, which will prepare you to lovingly serve one another for the rest of your lives. Call us today at Flower Mound Christian Counseling in Texas to make your first appointment.