Sometimes, a person’s first reaction to couples counseling can be defensiveness. After all, counseling often carries a stigma that there are big problems to address. The truth is, going and talking to someone you don’t know about your most intimate relationship requires courage and fortitude. And it’s something to be commended, not stigmatized.
Christian couples counseling in Flower Mound can be used as a rescue for a relationship in deep trouble. It can also be seen as a tune-up—or scheduled maintenance—for a relationship.
If you are seriously dating, counseling can help you have structured conversation about your past, current relationship, and future plans and goals, before you make the commitment to get engaged and embark on the busyness of planning a wedding and life together.
If you’re engaged, premarital couples counseling can help you build a solid foundation for your future marriage and address issues that are often glossed over in the busyness of wedding planning. It’s a place for you to commit to healthy communication and conflict patterns, as well as habits you can form to maintain the health of your future marriage over the long term.
If you’re already married, couples counseling can provide a safe haven to address problems that already exist, or provide a setting in which to discuss ways to improve your relationship together. It may or may not be a “last resort,” but either way, your counselor will offer experienced and respectful help.
Some of the most common reasons couples seek counseling include:
Communication problems. Whether there’s a complete breakdown in communication, numerous or serious conflicts, or you simply want to improve your communication patterns, this is one of the most common reasons people seek couples counseling.
Lack of intimacy. Couples often grow apart over the years as the busyness and stress of life sets in. Setting aside time to focus on your relationship and finding closeness again can be extremely rewarding.
Damaging behavior. If there is any kind of abuse present in your relationship, couples counseling is not for you (please seek individual counseling instead), but if there is lower-level damaging behavior, counseling can help set boundaries and heal.
Couples counseling does provide positive outcomes the majority of the time. Sixty-five percent of couples say that there has been “significant improvement” in their relationship during the counseling process, while 75% say they are better off than couples who did not seek couples counseling.
To be effective, the counseling process requires that both partners are committed to each other and to their sessions, and are willing to do the work involved, even when it’s difficult.
If you’re asking, “What if my spouse refuses to go to counseling?” this is a common concern as well, and you do have options:
- You can seek individual counseling and discuss your concerns there. Individual growth will always have benefits, even if your partner is reluctant to get involved.
- Your counselor may have suggestions for how to invite your partner/spouse to be a part of your counseling sessions.
But even if you are the only one who is willing to go, you can still work on yourself and your personal growth and experience positive results in your relationship too.
At the end of the day, we each make our own decisions, so whether or not your spouse/partner wants to participate is up to them. But, there is still so much potential for growth and positive change when you make the commitment to improve your own life.
