8 Common Signs of Abandonment Issues

Abandonment issues stem from a deep-rooted fear of being rejected, hurt, or abandoned. Caused by many factors which can include childhood trauma such as abuse, neglect, death of a parent, incarceration of a parent, illness or divorce, abandonment issues can have significant effects on people in their adult relationships.

8 Common Signs of Abandonment Issues

Because abandonment issues are caused by many different factors, they will manifest differently in different individuals. There are, however, some common signs of abandonment issues one can look out for:

Intense fear of rejection. Having abandonment issues means one is afraid of being rejected or left alone. This is because they have experienced it before due to childhood traumas and they try not to feel that way again. This fear however can hinder how they relate to others and in turn manifest that which they fear.

Very low self-esteem. Those with abandonment issues will have very low regard for themselves. They constantly feel worthless and not worthy of love and acceptance. This is why they are constantly seeking approval or reassurance. They never feel what they are or who they are is enough.

Avoidance behavior. For fear of being rejected, those with abandonment issues will forego situations where they feel they might be rejected. This can be seen in how they avoid social gatherings, family meetings, or company activities. They feel safer by avoiding it.

Needy and clingy. Once they are in a relationship or friendship with someone, people with abandonment issues can become very needy and clingy, emotionally suffocating those close to them. They fear being alone so much that they will make sure they are constantly in the presence of their partner or friend. This can again have the negative effect of driving people away.

Codependency. Codependency is the excessive dependence on another person for assurance, well-being, and identity. To not lose this person, they will engage in behaviors that can be detrimental to their health as a way of ensuring that they are never left alone. This constant prioritizing of others’ needs above one’s own can have very negative effects.

Anxiety and insecurity. Because they have deep feelings of worthlessness, they are constantly anxious about being left for someone else better. This makes them incredibly insecure.

Controlling behavior. Insecurity breeds the need to control others. People with abandonment issues can be very controlling. This to them is a way of knowing what will happen and hence alleviating the feelings of anxiety.

Difficulty trusting people. Trust does not come easy for people with abandonment issues. This in turn can make them very possessive, especially in romantic relationships. They always need to know where their partners are. In certain cases, this can be very dangerous behavior as it poses risks of abuse and stalking.

Counseling for those who feel abandoned

Trying to live and love when one has unresolved abandonment issues can be very difficult. It is however important to note that it is by no means a life sentence. Making one aware of why they have those issues in the first place and seeking appropriate help can change the trajectory of their life.

At our offices, we have trained therapists that are qualified to help you or a loved one identify patterns of behavior that might be a result of abandonment issues. They will help treat the symptoms and equip you with tools to overcome them. If the above describes you or a loved one, do not hesitate to contact us.